This moment needs it's own blog.
They coddled us in Beijing. Most staff new some English, and many signs were in English to guide people there for the Olympics. After riding on the super fast train, we arrived in Tianjin. Only 30 minutes aways, but miles away in how they cater towards Westerners. Let's just say that there is less English everywhere. (Which is what we expected in Beijing.)
Anyways - I had to lay that ground work for what happened next.
We we're wiped out from climbing the Great Wall, and didn't want to leave the hotel. Although M-I-L and
Shu Shu Morgie are already sick of Chinese food, we opted for the Chinese
restaurant on the third floor.
Llike something out of the twilight zone, when we stepped out of the elevator we were the only people around, which should have appeared as a flashing red signal. : ) The tables were fancy with red tablecloths.. The chairs wore red covers, and were trimmed with gold bows, (both very good colors in China). The entire ballroom was empty.
After several attempts to communicate with the staff, we realize that they do not speak ANY English. This makes us smile, because that means we have to order without knowing what we were to eat, (an initial fear of my texurely challenged self). To our surprise, the menus has English translations! When we started reading the menus we lost it! I'm talking four grow-ups bent over laughing like middle school girls (HCC knows what I mean!) The English translations were awful! One was like "Beef boiled and served with bacteria" "fish scales hibernating in herbed gravy" Hubs literally said, "what is this? Is this a some kind of joke?" We also saw the words Osteo and colonrectal used to describe the food. "Yummy! Can you please pass the colonrectal?" The poor lady had no idea what we were laughing about, and we could not tell her either. We found "fried rice" and ate that for dinner. (I have to get a copy of the menu so I can really tell you guys the descriptions)
M-I-L also ordered ribs. Shortly after they bring us a basket of steamed "meat" that looked like it belonged on fear factor. Hubs braved the look of it because it was covered in garlic, (Is'nt that why he ate the scallops that nearly killed him on our honeymoon?!) Needless to say, we didn't finish the bowl.
In the middle of our uncontrolable hysterics, S-I-L pulled out her Mandrian phrase book to help us out. That accomplished nothing. She opened to a page that gave the phrases "I feel that you are just using me for sex", "Touch me here," an "Easy Tiger." At this point, we gave up on not laughing. I have NEVER laughed that hard. What kind of phrase book is that?
Then, when we were getting ready to leave, the lady walked around the corner with another steamer basket filled with "ribs." Yummy - yummy ribs.
All I can say is that it's a good thing that M-I-L knows the Mandrian word for beer.