*off-topic from the adoption*
I'm just up too early compared to how late I stayed up last night. At this point, almost everything fits into its comfy home in my suitcase. One more load of laundry, and all my favorite clothes will be clean. Everything needed for China is purchased. Now the wait begins.
In the meantime...
I'm up early contemplating my day. This is the first time I've slowed down enough to realize that I'm deeply grieved about leaving St. A . Over the past four years, my weekday life continually revolved around my group of kids. A few days ago I had a quiet moment in the classroom; looking at all the walls, and just soaking in the memories, (Of course I cried). Today, when I walk out that familiar swinging door, it won't be home anymore. I hate leaving home. It hurts.
Is it strange that I'm grieving leaving my job? I'm not even darting off to a new job. I'm going to be a full-time student... which is what I claimed to have wanted for years. After operating in the work force since I was 15, not working feels wrong. *This is the part where Hubs rolls his eyes* It's not "wrong," it simply feels very different. Indeed!
I will greatly miss my kids at work. The hugs and smiles are the best. Most of my work friends have already moved on, (and come back - only to leave again). This is an amazing stage in my life. Don't misunderstand my grief for ungratefulness. All these changes mean it's not an easy season. I know God is using all these changes to draw us closer to him. Well, it's working. Nothing else in our lives is stable.
"Rejoice in the Lord always - and again I say rejoice"
Okay Lord, I'm trying.
1 comment:
I totally understand grieving leaving your job - I felt that way on my last two clinicals...and I was only there for 8 weeks each. No worries - the new chapters in life are bound to be great...after all, this next one begins with a trip to china to bring home a new little one - that's pretty darn amazing! (c:
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